Tuesday, May 1, 2012

It's Here

This past Sunday, I was singing a hymn with my fellowship (on a completely unrelated topic) when I was suddenly struck with a strong desire to stay in Rizhao for another year.

I was thinking about my students and how I'm finally starting to feel close to them after praying for closer relationships all last semester.

I was thinking about how awesome it would be to teach the same group of students two years in a row.  Only once have I ever taught a group of students twice -- less than 40 students of the 700-some I've taught in three years.  That group of repeat students was my favorite class of all time.

I was thinking about how Rizhao is a practically perfect Chinese city and how my days of biking down to the beach are numbered.

I was thinking about students who keep being surprised that I'm leaving even when I know I've told them before.  One student was nice enough to say, "That's the last news I wanted to hear today."

I was thinking about two students my roommate and I meet with each week and how we could grow into better mentors and friends if we had more time.

I was thinking about all the things I've learned about this city, this country, and this culture in the last few months alone, and how much more I have to learn.

Just now, I am sitting in a coffee shop planning my lessons for the rest of the year, and I'm again struck by how short my time is.  I could easily walk out of this coffee shop having planned the last lesson I'll ever plan for these students.  But I have so much more I want to teach them!

In my dream world, someone would give me a group of freshmen and let me teach them every subject I know how to teach for four years.  It always feels like just when I'm starting to get somewhere with a group of students, the year is over.

It's here.

All year, I've been ambivalent about leaving Rizhao.  I've never been as attached to this place or these people as I was to my former home (Qufu), but now it's here.  The realization that I really am attached and the realization that I really am leaving have arrived at the same time.  The end is coming in less than two months, and I'll be sad to leave.

3 comments:

  1. Glad to hear things are going better. At least you will be leaving on a high note!

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  2. of course. stay until you go, friend. (at least I'll be here to greet you! well, sort of.)

    ReplyDelete