Dave Barry on reducing the federal deficit

One of the first things I did when arriving on U.S. soil was to buy a few newspapers and get up to speed.  As usual, most of the stories were pretty doom-and-gloom, especially regarding the debt ceiling crisis, which isn't exactly a cheery thing to come home to.

I realize a compromise has been worked out, but in case the folks in Washington need any more advice about managing the country's finances, I'm posting an excerpt from a 1990 Dave Barry column on the federal deficit.

Day after day, week after week, the top brains of Congress and the Bush administration sat in a conference room, eating prune Danish supplied by the Prune Danish Division of the Bureau of Pastries of the U.S. Department of Refreshments at a cost of $2,350 per slice.

"What should we do about this pesky budget deficit?" the leaders asked, crumbs of concern dribbling from their mouths. "How can we reduce it? If only we had an idea! If only we could think of . . . "

"SPEND LESS MONEY, YOU CRETINS!!" shouted a group of cockroaches, who had been listening from the floor and managed to figure out the solution despite the handicap of not being top political brains. Unfortunately, however, our political leadership is not responsive to cockroaches, unless of course they operate savings-and-loan institutions.

 I'm with the cockroaches on this one.