Student E-mail Project: Funny Excerpts

In this last post quoting my students' e-mails to their American friends, I will include selections that made me laugh.  Have fun reading!

(Subject Line:)  Hell from China

Dear Gorey,

            (should be “Corey”)

Dear Korean,

            (should be “Karen”)

I once heard that America is the dessert of soccer.

            (He means “desert.”)

My favorite writer is Edgar Allan Poe whose novel is much more horrible.

            (The students often talk about “horrible” movies and stories when they mean “horror.”)

As to me, I am the tallest girl in my class, and a lot of people have said that I look like an European, because of my fair complexion and blonde hair.

            (Her hair is dark brown.  To them, anything non-black is “blonde.”)

My parents fell in love with each other when they meet the first time. i consider they are the happiest and tastiest couple in my hometown.

I hope someday I can meet some TV actors, and that will be legen-wait for it-dary!

You are a doctoral student and like gardening, right? … Have you got a good harvest of strawberries? … In China, few people do the gardening while they do research. Is it popular in America?

Mr. Bob, the first time I saw you in our department, I thought you might be a teacher because you looked very energetic and confident.

My English name is Robert. I was born into a farmer’s house in June 19, 1989. It was a hot summer day when I was born, but I can’t remember it. Maybe I am a boy.

I smiled a lot, then my friends called me Smile. When I was in university, my foreign teacher thought that Smile didn't look like an English name. She added a "y" to Smile.It became smiley. But, one day, my foreign teacher called me to her office and said that I'd better choose another name because Smiley sounded like smelly and smelly was not a good word.

(To a girl moving to Miami):  Still, I suggest you'd better take the sunblock, though you are a handsome guy. You also said you grew up in Canada. In my imagination, Canada is always covered with the lovely, beautiful maple waves, where gives an expression of Aestheticism.

In my part time, I am used to searching the internet, watching books and making friends. Yes,I love make friends.

I think teacher will be an ideal vacation for me.

            (A common mix-up:  “vocation” and “vacation.”)

I am round-faced and not very tall, so many people regard me as a girl. But I am a lady. Maybe I should dress up myself more mature.

I used to be interested about the rock'n roll and indie of America . I did not get some very new ,but the old ones like NIrvana ,Guns'n Roses and Bob Dylan . I don't think you are interested about them,  maybe your grandchildren be .

            (The recipient’s grandchild is a baby.)

Sometimes i talk with my friends by using poetry, just like, once, one of my friend asked me , how do you like me? I answered, Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day? That's really interesting.

I'm Betty, beautiful Betty.  I chose "Betty" as my English name, because of the word "better" in a powerful sentence "No best, only better". 

Maybe you can return (reply to) me in Chinese.  Well, I am kidding.  Aha.